The end of the summer and the beginning of September signifies a new start for many people. Most of us have already returned from our summer holidays feeling vitalised and relaxed, empowered, and ready to affect changes, set goals, take action steps and make decisions that will enable us to meet our goals.
Carol Wilson in her book ‘Best practice in performance coaching’ points out that modern life throws up a number of options in every area of our lives. However, the plethora of options and opportunities is likely to have a reverse effect. When our choices are wide they often create nothing but anxiety, disillusionment and resentment. Many of us often get stuck focusing on the facts that are holding us back from making our decisions. What can be done in that case?
The tools described below might help you to muddle through by following a simplistic, yet powerful step by step process.
When it comes to achieve a goal set and make a decision that will lead you to the desirable outcome you can work towards becoming aware of the options you have for possible goals and outcomes with questions like ‘ What are the options that I can create here?
You may then ponder over what you like about each option you have and what you dislike. Hale Dwoskin provides a powerful framework for the like and dislike process. So, you may take a blank sheet of paper draw a line down the centre of the paper, leaving room for your topic and follow the below listed steps:
Step 1: write your goal at the top of the page. Remember, this could be the name of a person, place, an option, or a few words that describe a situation from any area of your life.
Step 2: Ask yourself: What do I like about __________ (your topic?)
Then write down the first thought or feeling or just word that comes to mind
Step 3: Ask yourself: What do I dislike about __________ (your topic?)
Then write down again the first thought or feeling or just word that comes to mind.
You can repeat steps 2 and 3 many times, alternating between a like and a dislike, than another like and dislike, and see what happens! You might feel a positive shift in attitude towards your topic, goal or decision.
Another powerful tool suggested by Hale Dwoskin as well, is the advantages and disadvantages process:
In addition to working on a decision or goal directly you may ask:
– What advantage is there to me to have this goal? And
– What disadvantage is there to me to have this goal?
When it comes to making a decision either about a new job, a new relationship or whatever, doing the advantages and disadvantages process help you get a lot clearer. This process cuts through confusion about career changes, purchases, taking trips, starting new projects, as well as breaking habits and tendencies. You may follow the framework of the likes and dislikes process noted above! Good luck!
Always remember that you have the potential to affect changes, realise your goals and get where you need to be.
At the very best,